I Can't Take The Pain!
Male Victims Are More Common Than You Think
Feb 16, 2007 Patsy Ann Wilcher
Domestic violence is a subject that is hard to swallow. We know it's going on around us yet we don't want to talk about it. Say "domestic violence" and what comes to mind? For most people it's a man beating a woman. However what if the image was reversed? What if it was a man being beaten by a woman?
Too often this image is considered unheard of. The sad truth is that more men are coming forward and admitting that they have been victims of abuse. This reality has been unheard of because men were never associated with being a "victim". Men are suppose to be the strong, assertive ones. "The man of the house". What happens though when they aren't? Men haven't come forward for several reasons:
- Being ridiculed by others
- No one would believe them
- Embarrassment
- Shame
These sound like the reasons that women have given. Domestic violence doesn't discriminate on the basis of race, religion, or gender. Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence. The pain and suffering is the same no matter who you are. Resources are unlimited if you're a female victim but male victims are finding services and resources very limited for them. One national helpline has emerged to help all victims of domestic violence but is a valuable outlet to men as well. The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women (D.A.H.M.W.) is a 24 hour national crisis line dedicated to helping men as well as women get the help they need when they need it the most. Those needing assistance can reach the helpline at:
1-888-7HELPLINE
Too often men are left with bottling up their feelings and going on as if nothing happened. Many are afraid to call the police because they are afraid they'll be the one who ends up in jail. However, many law enforcement officials are beginning to look closer at domestic violence calls and female batterers are going to jail. No one deserves to be hurt - no one - not male nor female - NO ONE! If you find yourself in a situation where you're being abused please call 911 and then reach out to get the help you need. Family, friends, coworkers, and counseling are some great places to start. It takes courage to admit you're a victim but it's an even bigger step to say "NO MORE!" Here are a few links to some resources:
- Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women - www.dahmw.org
- National Coalition Against Domestic Violence - www.ncadv.org
- Male Survivors of Sexual Assault - http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/maleassault/menassault.html
- Battered Men.com - http://www.batteredmen.com/
- DV Resources - http://www.dvresources.org/
It's one step at a time. Are you ready?
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